Holy crap! I was in the middle of burning a disc and my smoke alarm went off. It's EXTREMELY loud. It woke up my neighbour who is across the hall and another neighbour who was beside me but there's a stairwell in between us. I'm sure my other neighbour beside me woke up. It kept going off every 10 minutes or so for 5 minutes at a time. I phoned the d.o.d. at 6am and she came down and ended up phoning security since she didn't know what to do. They came and just disconnected it. I put in a request for a repair to housing for them to come replace the battery. Anyways, I'm going to sleep now.

Homophobia and You:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Few nights ago.... Vital talked with me about some things happening in residence and to do with me.... few issues with that... then he said he was concerned about me and diverted the conversation to depression... he relayed personal experience about the topic (doesn't mean it was him personally!!) and so he's going with me to the career and counselling centre in a few days.
Last night... went to the radio station again...became a techie for the Zest Radio Show!! Getting paid for it and its for something I like doing!!
Update for Mixposure: I'm writing a song!
Tonight... Getting acquainted with Smirnoff... Made mac and cheese without milk.... way better... with my clone now... we're both having fun.

Joined this awesome site for musicians... check it out for yourself:



My band page on that site is:
http://www.mixposure.com/molegirl

Ok... so it's been determined that B house 1st floor is the party house this year... and unfortunately I live right near it... so I hear all their noise! Tonight was no exception to their partying, since it was pub night (thurs nights) so I phoned the don on duty... i always feel bad for phoning them especially this late. So she phones me back, and asks what the problem is. I answer, "There's a lot of noise coming from B house 1st floor" so then she asks where I am and I'm in c house 1st floor so I tell her that. If all the dons on duty ask me that, I'm gonna get a horrible reputation :S

well, had my auditions for the ensemble tonight. I think I did much better nervousness wise on the vocal pieces than the music pieces but they were impressed with my playing with accompaniment. so thanks to you Mr. O. ! Then I went to talk with Vital. That's when he told me that he's told head of res about me cuz I told him that I was in the stairwell writing one night to release my anger and stress. also told him it was cuz I didnt feel safe with myself in my room due to temptations. so he told me I should go to the counselling centre. then he had to go cuz he was on duty so I left. then he came around down here and came in and asked how I was and that's when I told him that I wouldn't go to counselling due to my previous experience with Moron. well I didn't say specifically with Moron but said with a previous counsellor. he said well if it becomes more overwhelming than what I can handle with writing then to come and talk with him and we can arrange something. That was nice, I thought. Still hate myself for putting so much trust into him when I barely know him. But at least he was considerate enough to tell me that he told someone.
Anyways met up with Eika and found out we're very similar in a lot of ways which was cool. she thinks about the deed but has never actually done it which I gave her credit for.

k well... went to hockey tryouts today... was okay... i'm still out of shape. I got knocked over and guys ALWAYS do this and they did again tonight, they asked if I was okay which I was. It's not like I haven't fallen before. Then later, a guy took a hard slapshot and it hit me in the head on the left side in the cheek bone area well towards the top of my ear. It hurt and I said I was fine, which I was at the time. Now, I'm dizzy, nauseous, and I have a bad headache. So I'm kinda concerned about whether or not I have a concussion. I went to Vital for some ice cuz my cheek was a little sore and I could feel the muscle tightening. Unfortunately he had a sign on his door which stated he wanted some alone time/ he is sleeping. So I naturally didn't want to disturb him especially if he was sleeping.
Anyways, Hani told me to phone the don on duty but I said no since I only felt nauseous. Maybe I should of but oh well. I don't wanna wake up the don on duty right now since its kinda late. Dons need sleep too. If my cheek still hurts later today, then I'll go bug my don for some ice assuming he's around.

I talked to Vital today. ok so I didn't tell Vital the url to this blog but M and I discussed everything else with him. I could always email it to him. I'll think about it some more. Anyways I'm meeting my mentor, Jaws, tomorrow morning. Then I have hockey tryouts later.

So I just told my don, Vital (obviously a code name like all the rest), about the deed and its link to stress but I failed to mention the depression aspect. Not sure if I should tell him or not. I'm gonna be seeing him either tonight or tomorrow about some stuff to do with residence. Maybe I'll just give him the link to this blog so he can read for himself or whatever. Maybe I won't. Anyways I went to get a cord that was missing for my BlackBerry and they didn't get it. It's so frustrating but its not the univ's fault. The guy who delivered the BlackBerry in the first place, its his fault. OMG I'm so tired. Been up since 830am. Had a lecture for 1.5 hours then 1/2 hour break till tutorial which lasted 45 minutes. I've been running around since. It's kinda crazy. I just wanna crash but I can't. Got more stuff to do. Not a whole lot left but still some stuff to do.

OMG! I'm in res now at my univ. and a guy and a girl were arguing so loud and right outside my door that they woke me up and I couldn't shut them out not even with my pillows. So I phoned the Don on Duty left a voice message well I guess that the Don didn't understand what I was saying. Those two kept at it; I think they were brother and sister. Anyways they moved into the lobby of the res. It only muffled the sound a bit but that helped nicely. It wasn't enough to completely block the sound out so I phoned the Don on Duty again. Left my number this time. He phoned back right away. I stated that there was noise on the first floor of C House. I thanked him for going to do something about it. Then we hung up. Being nosy as I am, I waited and watched for him to come investigate. The two people would always shut up when someone would walk by so of course they shut up when the Don came down the staircase cuz they could see him right away, but he walked down the hall then came back the same way. They couldn't see him but this time he heard them and he went and talked to them and then there was still some noise which of course he heard. It was coming from B House so he went and told them to go to bed cuz its way past quiet hours which on weeknights is 11pm. It was 4am when the two people first woke me up. Anyways now that its quiet I'm gonna head to bed again and sleep. Hopefully this time I won't get awoken by two morons that decide to argue right outside my room at 4 am or later...

Whats Her Face You scored 7 Snobiness, 14 Nerdiness, 50 Loserishness, and 28 Weirdness!

You are Whats Her Face! You really are a loser. Your clothes smell like grandmas. Your friends pity you. You die in just about every episode. You have no self esteem, and for a good reason. Take some happy pills.

Well I got my laptop today. It came this morning while I was at my friend's house. The winning name from the polls is Orphne, so the computer's name is Orphne. Orphne is a greek word meaning "darkness of night". I like this laptop. So cool. I'm moving into university res in 3 days (Sunday).

Only one answer to choose this time but you may vote everyday.

Laptop Name:

Nyx (greek for "night") Renardo Orphne (greek for "darkness of night") Iris (greek for "rainbow")

Free polls from Pollhost.com

You may vote everyday until August 17th 2005 or until my laptop arrives. You may also select more than one name.

The name of my new laptop should be:
	Nyx (greek for "night")
	Foxose (Fox + Rose)
	Folek (Fox + Dalek)
	Ixchel (Mayan for "rainbow lady")
	Iris (greek for "rainbow"
	Renardo
	Orphne (greek for "darkness of night")
	Rosox (Rose + Fox)
	Mulose (Mulder + Rose)
Free polls from Pollhost.com

What should I name my laptop?
	Nyx (greek for "night")
	Rosox (Rose + Fox)
	Folek (Fox + Dalek)
	Mulose (Mulder + Rose)
	Foxose (Fox + Rose)
	Ixchel (Mayan for "rainbow lady")
	Iris (greek for "rainbow")
	Kitsune (japenese for "fox")
	Bara (japanese for "rose")
	Isme (greek for "knowledge")
	Orphne (greek for "darkness of night")
	Renardo
	Mulder
	Rose
	Sarade (Sarah + Jade)
Free polls from Pollhost.com

My Death is Whilst sipping a Cafe Latte in the local starbucks a man dressed as a salmon smashes through the window next to you and slaps you with a slimy mackerell... dead.
Take How You Will Die today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

My name is Gweall the goddess of Mutilation.
Take What´s your Ultimate Evil God/Goddess name? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Mole Girl Highway Lake Love 4 Tower of Commitment 23 Contentment Meadows 41 Family Farm 144 Valley of Depression 330 Please Drive Carefully

Username:

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

You Know Your Computer Hates You When It Gives You These Warnings:

1) If you put that horrible CD back into the CD drive one more time, you'll never get it back. This time I mean it. Click OK to get your CD back for the LAST TIME.

2) Stop smashing the keyboard. I know you hate me, but did it ever occur to you that I hate you too, and that's why I'm annoying you?

3) Error 42: The world is coming to an end. Please log off.

4) Hey idiot! Next time just don't download those files and I won't get the nasty viruses that kill me.

5) So you want to try to beat me at kickboxing? Well I know kickboxing and many other martial arts. Besides you're just a scrawny computer nerd, what harm can you do to me?

(For #3, 42 is a reference to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. For #5, it's a response to a sticker that stated "My computer beat me at chess. I beat it at kickboxing.")

THESE ARE MY ORIGINAL CREATIONS. YOU MAY USE THEM BUT GIVE ME CREDIT FOR THEM. They are for a www.worth1000.com contest.

I'm still going to university I do take things to the extreme. Staying in residence. Haven't heard about any jobs yet.

oh and also as i said a little earlier i'm going back to high school well its cuz my parents think im not old enough to go well there goes all my hard work and the money that was paid for enrollment... WHAT A WASTE

end of semester 2 thought it was my last year of high school apparently not I'm gonna have to go to guidance tomorrow and re-enroll into the school for another year since im not mature, resposible or grown up enough to go to university... gah I just wanna die right now and I'm being serious not just joking around... I'm trying to avoid doing the deed right now.. by writing in this blog and talking to my friends (my true friends) well I think that only Pyro could help me through this right now but he isn't online at the moment dunno where he is... not gonna phone him though... oh well... I'm out for now...

This morning very early this morning I did the deed again on account of my mum yelling at me like really yelling at me.

I redid that personality test... Here are my new results:

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

March 2, 2005
wow.... I really need to get more time to post here... Here's a huge update:
Christmas was okay... and I got a frying pan, and spatula and $5. yes thats all I got from my family. *shrug* I don't need much... my room is already full of junk. New Year's Eve was okay I watched movies with Amy and had my first 3/4 bottle of alcohol (Smirnoff Ice) I later had one in January.. a full one all by myself... Semester one ended at the end of January... got marks in mid-February... here are my marks:
Music - 88% (missed 19 classes)
French - 90% (missed 19 classes)
Soc - 77% (missed 21 classes)
Math - 76% (missed 20 classes)
Overall average: 82.8% (yay honour roll!)
This semester I have:
English with Ms. Verve
Sociology with Ms. Cootie
Psychology with Ms. Hoyden
and spare - YAY!
January 9th I dumped Adam after almost 8 months (after month 3 we weren't really that intimate cuz I got mono)
January 17th I got a boyfriend XD Colin (I love you) we have a really strong bond. :D
February 15 to 18 I was in Quebec City on a school trip. There were two other grade 12s other than me...and a couple grade 11s, a lot of grade tens and a few niners. we still had a lot of fun. we went to the ice hotel and lower town and the museum of civilisation, dogsledding, snow tubing, bowling and to a huge shopping mall. The teachers who went with us were Mr. Brunt and Alley Cat and Desert Girl. Regardez-vous aller Mr. Brunt and Alley Cat!! LOL Desert Girl was traumatized by J.S. spinny pushing her down a small tubing hill on a saucer. LOL and I can't believe she fell bowling... a lil too much fizzy apple juice for her thats for sure...
The other day I messaged OPD and she messaged back confirming it was her I left her a message saying who it was and haven't heard back yet... I think I scared her off :( I miss her. Hopefully she messages me back sometime soon.
Yesterday and today, my school's girls hockey team played in the York University Ice Gardens tournament. We were in the Tier Three Blue division. We lost our first game 3-2 then the game after we won 1-0 (other team forfeited) but we played an exhibition against a team from a different division we lost horribly... our third game we were late for cuz of traffic... but they delayed it for us... we lost 4-1 I think and our last game was our best game, we won 6-0!! We didn't make the championship game but we had a lot of fun.